Where Was I At 20 Years Old?

Well, I wasn't in the pokey. He's still alright, though.

Really quickly, let's run down the synopsis of a young, American life. There lives a 20-year-old man who was born in a northern, working-class city with harsh winters. He is the oldest child of four, with three sisters he would defend whenever it's necessary. He was raised with a strong sense of family, was pretty popular in school (when he went), and had likely no problem taking on the bullies in grade school.

Oh yeah, he also played a lot of hockey as a kid. At a high level. Such as, when he was still a kid, he was in the NHL.

Look, a lot of people dumped on Patrick Kane as soon as they found out he and his cousin went tough on a Buffalo cabbie. . . over 20 pennies, no less. At first, I thought it was pretty stupid, too. Then I read something that was more stupid than two twenty-somethings in a cab.

In an August 24th article in "The Faster Times," writer B.D. Gallof (Heard of him? You haven't? Shocker. Well, he is an Islanders fan) takes the classic sportswriter's high road and rips into a gifted athlete making more money than he does.

Basically, the piece drones on about how everyone's favorite 88 on ice is an immature, millionaire malcontent. The triviality of fighting over that little money! But B.D. puts it all into perspective:

Even the recession seems to be hitting the young stars of the NHL. I mean, 20 cents is at least the price of a wing at Duff’s.

My stars, was that joke rich! I think I cracked a rib! So with that as an appetizer, we are led to the main course:

What has been terribly telling was Patrick Kane’s public apology to fans and the team. Kane used Michael Vick as a descriptive, making those who are already shaken take pause, even if they want to believe his innocence or that it was all a big misunderstanding that bruised up a cabbie’s face and broke his glasses.

By the way…there was no apology to the cabbie.

So the insinuation here is, before making any court appearance (Note: Gallof's piece is dated on the 24th. Kane pleaded not guilty at his arraignment on the 20th), Kane ought to apologize to the man nobody has proven he wronged? Uh, okay. In that case, let me say "I'm sorry" to every ex-girlfriend I've ever had. It really WAS me, not you. I mean it this time.

From my perspective, right or not, this is how I think the episode went down. Kanes enter cab. Upon arriving at their destination, one of them chooses to pay with cash, ready to go. The other goes to open the taxi door. . . but it's locked. Uh-oh, who is this guy? Does he recognize Pat? Is he going to try to extort us because Pat is under 20, filthy rich, and isn't supposed to be drinking?

So the Kane with the money tries to pull it back, and they both ask the driver to let them out before he gets any money. The cabbie, having seen this act from college types before (and having had a crummy day, as people stuck in traffic often do), starts to get short with them. Once tensions flare, and people start to worry if they got in a cab with a madman, fisticuffs ensue.

You can't tell me this doesn't happen at least once every weekend in major American cities! This is how the world works! I've been unsettled in a cab before. People know who Son of Sam was. Fact is, you're trusting a total stranger to behave like a professional, and most cab drivers do. But if the Kanes asked him to let them out - and I think they did - it was the driver's responsibility to let them out and then ask more questions. I'm sure he's lost bigger fares than 15 dollars before.

Instead of forming a rational scenario like this one, Mr. Gallof decides Kane is a punk, spoiled rotten, and has a ton of money, yet is still so immature he will fight over 20 cents. Yes, Kane was a bit coddled in juniors, and yes, he is only as old as the change he and his cousin "fought over." Still, it is hard to fathom that much of this is true:

What is stone-cold clear here is Patrick Kane does not know how to conduct himself publicly. Rumblings of immaturity and obnoxious behavior come out of Chicago by some who have seen him with his “boys.” That said, some feel that Kane is not as bad as he was made out to be, and was not smart about the situation. But is that just wishful thinking?

Was his trip home further regression into teenage misbehavior?

No, there was no teenage regression here, and I will tell you why. Any teenager would have given the cab driver 20 bucks to keep his mouth shut after he and his buddies had been drinking all night! In fact, any teenager out drinking would have wanted to just get away from the cab so he could throw up in the bushes after a rough ride. And as far as this rowdy behavior out on the town is concerned, I don't think the Bowman family would put up with much crap. I mean, they wouldn't want a poor example for the children in the house. The same ones that Pat loved watching hockey with on off days.

I'm not saying Patrick Kane is above reproach here. He is a very public figure, one of the faces of a resurgent and powerful hockey franchise, and a video game cover boy. He ought to know better, really. But does that mean a guy with no record and his cousin should go down in flames for a common misunderstanding? Absolutely not.

In the end, it seems as though this incident will fizzle out of public consciousness, as it should. Paging B.D. Gallof: the cab driver got his apology - in writing, no less - once the Kanes switched their pleas. Now all we are left with are a guy who wants to move on and represent his country in the Olympics, a cab driver's 15 minutes of fame, and a funny nickname to go with some hilarious Photoshops (Thanks, Canucks Central).

Oh, and a whiny, petulant sportswriter who might be related to someone we Chicagoans know and loathe.